June 1990: Departure Lounge@ Mingaladon Airport, Yangon:
“I Hope I can join you very soon Hlaing” Nyi Naing said.
“Me too. I hope to pass the PLAB exam soon enough that I can bring you over there shortly” Hlaing said.
Hlaing had taken a bold step in sitting for the Professional and Linguistic Assessment Board (PLAB) exam in UK. It was quite unusual those days for a single woman with no relatives or a support system in UK to attempt the PLAB. All she knew was an elderly English couple whom her dad had acquainted while he was working at Myanmar Embassy in UK during the late 60s. They kindly gave her a sponsorship and a promise to help her out during the first few months. After that she would be on her own, sink or swim. Due to the restricted foreign currency exchange rules, it was quite costly to purchase air tickets or pay for the exam fees from Myanmar those days. With that and the uncertainty of passing the exam, Nyi Naing couldn’t take a chance like Hlaing. His parents were not well off and they needed his help in sending his younger siblings to college. They spent all of their earnings and savings in sending Nyi Naing to medical school and now it was his turn to work and return the favor. Business at his GP practice in Hlaing Township had just started to pick up and he couldn’t afford to throw in the towel at that point. Those days PLAB was notorious for its high failure rate especially for the Myanmar candidates since they were unfamiliar with the exam format, being isolated from the world during the preceding two decades. Every foreign medical graduate needs to pass this test if he or she wishes to work or be trained at British hospitals. It is an equivalent to USMLE exam in USA. But this was the strong willed Hlaing, one who had always yarned to visit the west again. Nyi Naing just had to accept her decision. He was hoping that in another year or two, he could close his GP practice and try to join Hlaing in UK. He needed that much time to polish his English skills too.
“Will you promise to write me every week?” Nyi Naing asked.
“Of course, Naing.”
“Pinky promise Hlaing?”
“Yes, pinky promise, now would you kiss me for the last time Naing?”
Before he could say anything, she dragged him to a little corner at the balcony, hugged him tight and gave a warm kiss on his lips. As quick as the kiss was, she broke off suddenly and asked him to leave before she boarded the plane. She said she had never cried in public and didn’t want this to be the first time and she might if she saw Nyi Naing waving goodbye. Realizing that he too would perhaps do the same when her plane took off, Nyi Naing accepted the suggestion and started walking away. As he was leaving, he ran into Tun Oo who was entering the terminal. He gave a polite greeting and asked where he was heading. Turned out that Tun Oo was to be on the same flight, planning to sit for the PLAB in UK like Hlaing. Nyi Naing wished him good luck in the exams and made a quiet exit. He trusted Hlaing and yet his heart was heavy for no reasons. Next and for the first time, he decided to close his GP that evening and went to a bar with his best friends Soe Than and Maung Maung Lay. In the end he sobbed like a baby that night though he was too drunk to be ashamed of.
December 1991: @ Thuyain GP Clinic. Kamaryut Railway Station Road, Hlaing Township:
Nyi Naing got off the trishaw and trudged into the clinic building. He was more than two hours early and no patient was there yet. Not even his front desk helper Maung Zaw Lin. But that was by design. He didn’t want to meet anybody while he was reading Hlaing’s letter one more time.
The past one and a half year had been tough for everybody. Hlaing was very stressed in UK. She failed PLAB twice already and was to take the last and the final attempt very soon. Her finances were tight. She was writing less and less frequently to Nyi Naing and whenever she did, she sounded defeated. She said there were so many new things to be acclimatized. Weather was harsh. She was lonely yet phone calls to Myanmar were very expensive. She had to work part-time as an aid at a nursing home to make ends meet while studying day and night for the exam. The only thing in her favor was that she didn’t need much polishing in her English. In the meantime, Nyi Naing’s father suddenly passed away from a stroke. He had three younger siblings who were still in school. It became impossible for him to leave Myanmar, at least for the next few years. He couldn’t leave his mom and the younger siblings high and dry. Moreover, government jobs were becoming very attractive and easy to come by since many doctors resigned while others left for abroad as long as they were financially capable. Ministry of Health (MOH) then came out with a new policy that, unlike before, the newly appointed assistant surgeons (AS) would be assigned only at the teaching hospitals during the first two years. Only later they would be sent to the districts. MOH felt that the change would benefit the rural hospitals better since they would be receiving a seasoned AS than one who had just come out of internship. But that inadvertently opened up a door for those who were smart and willing to work hard. During that first two years, if one could pass the MSc entrance exams, he or she would be considered a post graduate (PG) trainee and hence would not be sent out to the districts. The opportunities in the career ladder seemed to have become wide open and readily accessible for those who wanted to work hard. Hence, Nyi Naing was having second thoughts in not joining the government service. His only reason was that entering the government civil service would prevent him from joining Hlaing in UK.
But that dream was shattered on that day. He started to read Hlaing’s letter again which he received in the morning. It said: “Forgive me Naing though I can fully understand if you don’t. It’s too much to explain now and I don’t want to sound like an innocent one justifying my actions. May be one day I can fully explain this to you. But for now, I’d rather call you “a friend” Naing!” Love. Hlaing. It was short but was more than enough to relay the intended message. Between Hlaing and Naing, they both knew what this sentence of “rather call you a friend” meant. It was their personal coded message. That was a Dear John letter. After all, their relationship was first announced in an opposite way, “I’d rather not call you a friend”. That night Nyi Naing submitted his application for a government employed doctor (AS) job. And he received no further letters from Hlaing.
Later and little by little he learnt more about Hlaing from his friend Soe Than who went to UK. Contrary to Nyi Naing’s initial suspicion, it was nothing to do with Tun Oo. That smarty pant did quite well though, passing the PLAB exam in his first attempt and was already aiming for the MRCP diploma and beyond. Hlaing met a German doctor who came for rounds at the nursing home she worked as an aid. Learning that Hlaing was a doctor, he helped her a lot both career wise and in financial means. He got her into a clinical attachment position at a nearby teaching hospital. Supposedly he was a very nice gentleman. Eventually proximity begets intimacy, especially when one was downtrodden and lonely. To make the long story short, Hlaing fell in love with that German guy. She passed the PLAB exam in her last attempt and was finally able work as a doctor too. The last Soe Than heard of Hlaing was that, there were to be married next year in Germany, at his home town. Nyi Naing didn’t feel bitter. He just blamed himself that he couldn’t be next to her when she was vulnerable and needed him the most. He just accepted this as his fate and tried to devote his life to medicine from then onwards. He promised himself that one day he’ll get himself a MRCP and a period of overseas training in the west. That was what Hlaing had wanted to have him in the first place. He had failed her twice before, once during the 1988 uprising and later in not accompanying her to UK soon enough. He won’t fail her for the third time. By hook or by crook, he would get a MRCP.
Late Spring 1998: @ City of Chester, England:
Nyi Naing’s initial fears were unfounded. Robert was such a nice gentleman. He genuinely showed interest in the affairs of Myanmar and made Nyi Naing feel at ease right away. If there were any awkward moments, it was all from Nyi Naing. May be that’s a skill in life that Myanmars need to pick up from the westerners, how to show no animosity towards the wife’s ex-boyfriend over a dinner.
Nyi Naing arrived to UK six months ago as a Myanmar government’s state scholar. In Myanmar, after his first posting as a newly minted AS at Sayagyi Professor Winston Hla’s surgical ward, Nyi Naing was sold into Surgery. He threw away the dream of becoming a physician and shifted gears to become a surgeon. He eventually completed his MSc (Surgery) and was then sent to complete his Fellowship of the Royal Colleges of Surgeons (FRCS) training in UK. He was assigned at a teaching hospital in Birmingham area. By then quite a few of his classmates had settled well in UK. Through that old friend network, he had reconnected with many of them except Hlaing. He learnt that she and her husband were living in Cheshire. He deliberately made no attempt to contact her. It was Hlaing who tracked down Nyi Naing’s phone number and invited him to come visit her family in Chester that weekend.
While the three grown-ups were sipping wine and savoring the Sunday Roast and the Yorkshire pudding, Hlaing’s daughter May, who was three-year-old, played with her princess dolls in the living room.
Hlaing said, “Sorry for the last-minute invite Naing but I had just realized that we have only two more weeks left in UK and I wanted you to meet Robert and May while we are still here.”
That came as a surprise. Nyi Naing said, “What do you mean Hlaing?”
“We are moving to America. Both Robert and I will be starting our residency training over there in three weeks. And it seemed that we are moving there for good with no plan to return to UK.”
Before he could even think he blurted out: “Do you have to?”
“In a sense yes. You see, as an overseas graduate from Myanmar, I have not been progressing well in my career in UK. For example, I had been trying to get into the Cardiology Specialist Registrar training to no avail during the past two years. Having MRCP is not enough. Robert is also very interested in the bench research in his field. But funding for basic science research in UK is not as generous as in America. Of course, he can always return to Germany but with me not speaking German, I won’t find a job there. Therefore, we decided that America will be a good fit as the neutral third country for both of us. And that’s why we don’t think we’ll come back to UK either”.
There you go again Hlaing, a girl full of surprises, at least for Nyi Naing. One who always embraces change and adventure. And for the next two hours they tried to catch up which meant it was mostly Hlaing inquiring about friends and family in Myanmar. She hadn’t visited Myanmar since she left seven years ago. She was a bit out of the loop even from the classmates who were in England. When she learnt that Nyi Naing remained single, her eyes suddenly looked soulful though nobody except Nyi Naing noticed it. And finally, it was time for Nyi Naing to leave. He took the Intercity train from Birmingham to Chester. Robert volunteered to stay behind and watch May while Hlaing drove Nyi Naing back to the train station.
It was an extremely quite ride until Hlaing started:
“Naing, it’s about another forty-five minutes before your train departs. Can we stop for a few minutes to chat? I know a nice place where we can park the car and walk a short distance over the stone bridge crossing the River Dee. From there you can also see the Chester Cathedral in a distance”.
“Sure Hlaing.”
It was about eight o’clock but being spring, the sun had already set. The River Dee which Nyi Naing felt to be the size of a brook for Burmese standard was flowing quietly under the bridge transecting the town of Chester. After walking a few feet along the pedestrian path, they stopped in the middle of the ancient stone bridge.
“I don’t know how to thank you for coming out to see me Naing. I was worried that you might be resentful towards me. To be honest, since I learnt that you arrived to UK a few months ago, I meant to invite you over but was worried that you may turn down my invitation. But when I realized that I have only two more weeks to stay in this country, I just had to take the chance. And I am glad I did. I am also very proud of you of what you have become Naing, a soon to be a FRCS surgeon, a job at the professorial surgical ward in Myanmar waiting. Your English has improved so much that I couldn’t even recognize you at first on the phone. And you had achieved all those within the past seven years. Do you still have time to compose poems?”
“Thank you for the kind words, Hlaing. Being single helped. Without any family responsibilities, I was able to devote myself to the study of Medicine and English at all times. And no, I don’t compose poems anymore. Can’t get into the writing mood. And by the way you have a very beautiful family. Robert is such a nice man and May is so cute”.
“I know Naing but sometimes I lament and feel guilty of what I did to you. Will you forgive me?”
“I always forgive you Hlaing.”
“Sorry, I should have known that too Naing. It’s not an excuse but those were my bleakest days in life. I was so lonely and desperate in a foreign land where every attempt was a failure.”
“Let’s not talk about the past Hlaing. In life, what doesn’t kill makes you stronger. At this point you should be appreciative of what you have now, a lovely family and a beautiful daughter. In a sense those bleak days took you to where you are now. So, you should be thankful.”
“True and thanks for being such a gentleman Naing. I have never felt so relieved like now. But can I still ask you for one more favor?”
“Shoot Hlaing.”
“Can I continue calling you a “friend” Naing?”
“I will forever be your friend Hlaing and you will be mine too. Now let’s get back to the train station. If I miss this one, the next one won’t be till 11 PM and I have to be in OR (Operating Room) by 5 AM tomorrow”.
Hlaing seemed to have become very relieved for the first time in the whole evening. There was a notably radiant smile from her for the rest of the car ride. She dropped him off at the station but after flashing the hazards lights, she got out and quickly came around to his side of the car. Glowingly, she planted a quick kiss on Nyi Naing’s cheeks and said,
“Goodbye Naing. Hope to see you again somewhere sometimes and hopefully with Mrs. Naing then.”
Then she drove off. And that was the last Nyi Naing saw of her, at least for another decade.
Nyi Naing’s surgical training in England was a smooth sailing. Since he had already passed the Myanmar version of the FRCS exam, which was MSc (Surgery), the British exam wasn’t a tough one to overcome. And under the close tutelage of his Professor Sayagyi Winston Hla at New Yangon General Hospital in Myanmar, Nyi Naing was so already well trained in the fundamentals of surgery that he was ready to operate efficiently in the British ORs. The British consultants were very impressed by him. Since he passed the FRCS relatively quick, he also had a chance to go through the hands-on training for a longer period than others who were focused on passing the exam. As his elective, he spent six months at the solid organ transplant surgery division of the famed Birmingham General Hospital. But during his next two years in England, he never heard anymore again from Hlaing in USA.
( Part III to follow).